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So setting up PC security on a budget involves usage of free antispyware, antivirus and firewall. Among free antivirus solutions you can choose from AVG (by Czech software company), Avast, Bit Defender, and some others. In the field of free antispyware the choice is limited and there are antispyware tools which are actually bundled with commercial adware and spying modules. However, SpyBot Search & Destroy is known to be a reliable solution, recommended by advanced users. And the consequences may be horrible.

What you should install on your PC is Anti-Spyware software as it will locate and destroy any Spyware that if finds on your computer. There are also a number of programs that claim to be anti-spyware that do not work. Worse these programs actually add more spyware to your system. Data loggers, key loggers and Computer Security What Is An External Threat are just a few vices which harvest info from your computer. Every day computer users are haunted by stories of people falling victim to identity theft. That is why every computer owner who’s worried about Computer Security What Is An External Threat needs Winclear.

Online Privacy With Erase Internet History: Computer Security What Is An External Threat. AccSent monitors account access attempts and issues a one-time PIN challenge to those coming from IP address ranges or browsers that differ from the last authorized account access. Your account was accessed from remoteip ‘202.74.73.70′ and a pin was sent to the email address on the account. The person logged into your email account and retrieved the pin, accessed your e-gold account and made an unauthorized spend from the account. Winclear is the only software which is capable of removing keylogger programs. Many people ask the question of whether cookies are harmful for their computers. Winclear has been the industry leader in fighting keyloggers and Computer Security What Is An External Threat for the last 8 years.

This technique includes contaminating a PC with a Trojan horse program. That is the reason why you need Winclear installed onto your computer, is to Computer Security What Is An External Threat. A little more sophisticated programs of this kind also capture text from windows and make screenshots (record everything displayed on the screen) - so the information is captured even if the user doesn’t type anything just opens the views the file. Find out more about Computer Security What Is An External Threat. Protect your computer security by using Winclear!

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Credit card consolidation is a popular solution for those with significant credit card debt, usually distributed on three or four different cards. Basically, this means putting all your debts together on a single card, like transferring it all to one loan. Of course, the goal is to pick a card that offers better conditions than what you already have, in order not only to simplify, but also to reduce your payments.

Since there are so many offers out there, and lenders fight over your business, you can sometimes find solutions that can save you thousands of dollars per year. If you consolidate your debt to a credit card with low interest and 0% balance transfer, you can save considerably, and pay off your credit sooner (which, of course, is the main goal when dealing with credit card debt).

The most serious mistake people do when consolidating is to go though the entire process just to simplify their accounting, and they don’t pay enough attention to how much they could save. Another mistake is to close your zero balance accounts when consolidating. This practically means you close some of your credit options, which is never a good idea.

When you plan to consolidate, call your banks and explain the situation. They want your business, and you’ll be surprised how flexible and willing to negotiate they can be, once you explain to them that you have various options available to take your business someplace else.

There are many web sites offering solutions for debt consolidation. However, keep in mind that, while this is a comfortable and fast solution, you don’t have the options to negotiate directly with the banks. Also, most often the best offers come from banks that want to keep your business, so make sure you give a change to the banks you’ve had a long-term relation with. If you’re not pleased with the results, take your money elsewhere quickly.

Consolidation is often a necessity for students, new graduates, or people who have filed for bankruptcy some time ago. If you’ve handled your payments well and managed to clear up your record to a certain degree, there is no need to continue paying more than it’s worth for your credit cards. Sit down and go through the numbers carefully, and think analyze the problem realistically. Don’t forget to check your credit report and your credit rating before you start anything - it will help you plan and plead your case. Also, if your credit request gets rejected, don’t forget to ask for your free copy of the credit report.

Of course, credit card consolidation is not a miracle solution for all your financial problems. On the contrary, you may find that it requires a lot of financial discipline to make the payment on time and to straighten things up. However, it is less confusing than having several small credits, and so it is easier to keep things under control.

There is also the option of getting credit counseling, if things get really confusing. A successful plan will make sure you make the payments on time and regularly, without putting a strain on other aspects of your life. Of course, it’s a lengthy process, usually taking one or two years - but it’s worth the trouble.

Sometimes, you can lower costs by consolidating your debt through a second mortgage - but be really careful about the hidden costs and problems - you may want to consult with a specialist or two before taking this step. Usually, this means that your home will become collateral, and you may lose it if things go wrong. Also, costs add up quickly and you may end up paying more than you initially thought.

This article has been provided courtesy of Creditor Web. Creditor Web offers great credit card articles available for reprint and other tools to help you search and compare credit card offers.

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A good credit history is critically important for the consumer. A bad credit will prevent you from getting a business loan, owning a home, or even a job. Promises to “fix” your credit are always made by credit consolidation companies, but they are seldom true. Here are some of the important tips to avoid scams:

First things first. Negative information cannot be erased if the information is correct. Only inaccurate information can be corrected in your credit file. Credit file information remains on your record for seven good years from the time it is reported to the bureau. For bankruptcy, the information remains on your record for ten years. All the consolidated information about your credit bills you fell behind on, but are now paid, will remain on your report for the time period mentioned above.

Do not pay the credit repair company unless their promises are kept. Remember, the law is on your side. Federal law requires credit repair companies to give you a complete detailed explanation of your legal rights, a completely documented written contract, and above all, 3 days to cancel. This applies to all credit repair services including for-profit services, non-profit services, creditors and credit unions.

Be wary about emails you receive. When you hover your mouse over the link in the email, you will know for sure if it is a trusted website or a fraudelent one. If fraudelent, report it to your bank promptly.

You don’t need a counselor to correct your mistakes in the credit report. Take charge of it yourself. If you were recently denied credit, you can request a free credit report. Otherwise there is a small charge for it. Some states will allow you a free copy of your credit report once a year. It doesn’t cost you anything to dispute or question items in your credit report. Get online or follow instructions from your credit bureau. The three major credit bureaus are Equifax (800- 685-1111), Experian (800-682-7654) and Transunion (800-916-8800). In most cases you will need to contact all the three credit bureaus as the information they have about you may vary.

Remember that you can’t create a second credit file. Some of the fraudelent companies will offer to provide the consumers with a different social security number (tax identification number if ssn does not exist) in order to create a new credit file for the consumer. Such a practice is called as file segregation. File segregation is illegal and does not work.

Whereever possible, add explanation to your credit report to prove your point. If you have legitimate reasons for not paying certain bills on time (switching jobs, illness), or if you refused to pay because of a dispute, send the bureau a statement to be tagged with your credit report. Each lender who pulls your report will be aware why you fell behind on those bills.

Counseling might be a good option. Find a good non profit consumer credit counseling service in your neighbourhood. Get online or open your yellow pages to find one. Seek the guidance of friends and family members. Select a counselor, meet them in person to make sure they are right for you. Ask them on tips and advice on how to build a good credit history. If you are still lagging behind on your payments, credit consolidation firms will be able to set up a payment plan with your creditors. If money is an issue, select a non profit credit counseling service. They will offer their service for free or for a very low cost.

Ameri credit services provides credit counseling and credit consolidation to customers. Visit us at http://www.americreditservices.com for free credit consolidation articles, free credit counseling tips and non profit credit management services.

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Years ago your credit score was a big secret, known only to a select few such as your mortgage and credit card companies. In 2000, Fair, Isaac Co., the major supplier of credit scoring software, announced they would begin sharing credit scores, also known as FICO scores, with consumers.

What is a credit score? A credit score is a tool used by credit grantors to determine your ability to repay your debts. The information in your credit report is compared and evaluated against tens of millions of other consumer credit reports which gives you a credit score or number ranging from 350 (highest credit risk) up to 800 (lowest credit risk). A higher score means you are less likely to make late payments or default on the credit extended to you. Your credit score will change as the information in your credit report changes over time.

Following is a short overview of the five major categories of credit information that are used in determining your credit score and guidelines for scoring higher.

PAYMENT HISTORY (35 percent)

Paying your current bills on time is the single most important factor in obtaining a high credit score. This category includes credit cards like Visa and MasterCard, retail accounts, installment loans such as those for a car or education, loans from finance companies, and home mortgages. Also included in this category are matters of public record such as bankruptcies, liens, wage garnishments, and collection accounts. The key to a higher score: Pay your bills on time!

HOW MUCH DEBT YOU CARRY (30 percent)

This category considers the amount of debt you owe on your various credit accounts. If you’ve “maxed out” your available credit, this could indicate that you are overextended financially and won’t be able to make your payments on time or repay your debts completely. This category also examines how many of your accounts carry balances and how much money you’ve already repaid. Closing accounts with a zero balance does not generally improve your score in this area. The key to a higher score: Keep your credit card balances low.

LENGTH OF ESTABLISHED CREDIT (15 percent)

The longer you’ve had credit accounts the higher you will score in this area. The age of your oldest account and the average age of all your accounts are used in determining your score. Old accounts that have gone unused are also considered. The key to a higher score: Establish good credit and keep accounts active.

APPLICATIONS FOR NEW CREDIT (10 percent)

Opening multiple credit accounts within a short period of time represents a greater risk of becoming overextended. Each time you apply for credit an inquiry is made into your credit history and these inquiries show up in your credit report. A high number of credit inquiries will lower your score.

Some inquiries are not considered in your score. These include: requests by you for your credit report, inquiries from companies for pre-approved offers or companies that already do business with you, along with inquiries from potential employers. Some requests for credit are treated as a single inquiry especially when you are shopping for the best loan rate. The key to a higher score: Only apply for and open new credit accounts when you need them.

YOUR CREDIT MIX (10 percent)

This category examines the types of credit accounts you have and how many of each. Can a person have too many accounts? Yes and no. It really depends on whether you have an established credit history or no credit history at all. The key to a higher score: Open credit accounts only if you intend to use them.

Don’t despair if you have a low score or are just beginning to establish credit. Your credit score will change for better or worse depending on how well you understand and use these five keys to your advantage in planning your financial future.

About The Author

© 2004, James H. Dimmitt, http://www.yourfreecreditreportnow.com

James is editor of “TO YOUR CREDIT”, a weekly free newsletter to help you manage your personal finances. Subscribe to the newsletter by visiting http://www.yourfreecreditreportnow.com. He is also author of “Identity Theft - How to Avoid Becoming the Next Victim!” available at http://tinyurl.com/bc45

jimdim815@aol.com

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There is so much credit flying about these days, that keeping tabs on the credit you have and the credit you have had in the past, would be a full time job. That’s if you decided to apply your time to it. Not only that the threat of fraud being committed in your name is becoming a bigger and bigger problem, by the minute and could lead to many problems that could see you refused any credit in the future.

There is though a knight in shining armour riding to our rescue. It is in the form of the new CreditExpert Monitoring Service, which is a subscriber service and is being made available to us, by the UK’s biggest credit reference agency Experian. It is aimed to cut out any problems that could befall our finances.

It works by letting you know when any changes are made to your personal credit information that they hold on you. It also allows you to keep track of your own financial information at any time that you wish to do so. This means that you can have any details you need at the drop of a hat.

But the biggest and most valuable thing that it does for you in my opinion is the protection that offers you, in the fight against Identity Fraud. A major worry for all of us and it should be. By being able to go online, we can keep a close eye out for any discrepancies, which may take place on our credit report. Though to give you added security, the new service will alert you if anything changes on your report.

The only service of it’s kind in the UK. The CreditExpert Monitoring service will send you weekly alerts via, your E-mail address or by a SMS text to your mobile phone. Once you have received your alert, al you then have to do is get online and check your credit report for any changes that have come about. If any of the changes that you have been contacted about are of your knowledge, then you will be satisfied that your personal details are in good hands.

Though on the flip side of the coin, you find that the changes, such as a loan or credit card have been applied for in your name and it is not of your doing, then the online site will have all of the resources in which you can use to inform them that there may be fraudulent use of your name being committed. It will also be useful to check that the company you have applied for credit from has placed all of your personal information correctly, if not then you can use the service to inform the credit agency of any mistakes.

Peter Kenny is a writer for creditcards-gb
For additional articles and an extensive resource for everything about credit cards, please visit us at www.creditcards-gb.co.uk and www.creditcards2go4.com

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In determining which credit card to choose, it’s best to know the purpose of getting the card. Credit card companies may offer cards to their clients that have flexible terms with varying annual percentage rates or APRs. In choosing a credit card, an individual will need to study carefully and understand the purpose for getting the credit card.

Different credit cards have different features, APRs, annual membership fees and promotions that they provide their users.

Some credit cards may offer low APRs with no annual membership on the first few years of use although these may change to higher APRs and varying membership costs after the expiration of their waived membership fees and low APRs. In this example, the use of this particular credit card may only be applicable for short term use as there may be other credit cards available that offers fixed lower than current industry’s standard APRs. There are also credit cards offered in the market that waives the annual membership fees on a longer term basis as long as the credit card user is able to meet specific purchase and payment targets.

There are credit card companies on the other hand that offers reward points that provides flexibility in choosing how the rewards will be redeemed. Rewards points accumulated from purchases can be redeemed in the form of gifts, appliances, furniture, or even travel miles. For a frequent traveler who’s also a frequent credit card user, he can maximize the rewards system provided by credit card companies that offers travel perks with their frequent flyer programs.

There are merchants in the business of retail that are also offering credit cards to help promote the sales of their products. A retail company selling products on the internet may offer credit cards under major credit card companies. While the credit card is technically a standard credit card that can be used in purchases from various establishments, the retail company that provides the credit card rewards the consumer with reward points depending on the amount of purchases made. The reward points accumulated then is converted to gifts, products or redeemable check amounts that can be redeemed for products from their stores on the internet.

In choosing which credit card a person will choose, it’s always best to understand the purchase habits the person has. A person who’s a frequent traveler can maximize his credit card use by subscribing to credit cards that offers air mile rewards. A frequent shopper on the other hand may benefit from his credit card by getting a card that his favorite merchant is offering and later on redeem the points accumulated from the merchant’s stores.

David Riewe is a Publisher and Online Marketer. Visit his Credit Resources Blog Below: www.push-button-online-income.com/creditcards/

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Procuring womens lingerie can be defiantly 1 of the most trickiest jobs for you to do. If you don?t dig up the right information or have some prior knowledge getting womens silk lingerie, it may well be totally nerve-racking and confusing. In the main there is an exceedingly wide variety of lingerie products to plump for, with varying varieties, styles, colours and sizes and second, you would have to accept a great quantity of bother & uneasy occasions when trying to weigh up each & every lingerie item that captures your desire. Last but not least, if you don’t get the appropriate advice in getting women’s lingerie, especially in particular designer women’s lingerie, it is particularly understandable that you will spend too much for one single lingerie piece that perhaps would not look ideal on them.

Thus, before you go sprinting to your closest lingerie retail shop here are numerous very useful advice that would unquestionably make shopping for women’s sexy lingerie noticeably more straightforward. Find affordable, gorgeous and stylish bras from designers such as Freya, Mademoiselle, Chantelle, Caprice, Adore and Panache.

It is very important to make sure that you scribble down their body style & lingerie size before you go shopping. The best way to identify what the best products are is to find out about their body type so that you know what make of lingerie would help to accentuate the good-looking elements of their body and keep everybody’s minds away from individual sections of theirs body that make them feel mindful.

There are generally three different lingerie sizes: thin, medium and size plus. The lingerie size that would best complement a person depends on their body form. Their body size would also help determine the style of saucy lingerie that would be great for them, for instance a garter set for a person who has thin, narrow hips and tiny breasts or a halter bra for someone who has problems with tiny busts.

It is always crucial to know prior to going to the shops the specific spots of their body that they would like to be enhanced or accentuated with a specific women’s lingerie product. For instance push-up pads for the corsets or bra would help somebody who wants their bust to appear substantially bigger, whereas someone with a pair of magnificent long legs would look elegant with long stockings.

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Having a credit card has become the norm in today’s society. If you have a flippant attitude and don’t use your credit card in the correct manner then you could unwittingly become deep in debt without realizing it or the implications. Looking at ways in which you can get the best use out of your credit card and keeping your spending under control may be key factors in reducing your chances of having unmanageable debt.

Paying On Time

Probably the most important thing is that you pay your bill on time, if you don’t you will incur a late payment charge and have the added interest on top of your original payment. Paying the full amount of your balance every month, if you can, will prevent the cost of interest, meaning you only pay what you have spent. If you can’t make the payment in full then at least paying the minimum payment is advisable but will cost you on interest the following month. If you repeatedly only pay the minimum payment every month and are still spending on your credit card you will soon find out that you seem to be getting nowhere in reducing your balance. Some credit card lenders include a minimum payment warning on their credit card statements. Do not ignore your bills. Ignoring your bills will only make your situation worse. If you are struggling to pay off your debt contacting your credit card provider to come to an agreement on paying the outstanding balance will help you get back on track.

Only Spend The Absolute Minimum

Keep you’re spending to a minimum and only use your credit card for things that you need. This will help keep your debt down. Only spend what you can afford to pay back as having a credit card does not mean you have extra money it only means you can obtain and pay for things a little sooner than you would if you had to save up the money.

Avoid Cash Advances

It may be a bad idea to use your credit card to obtain money form a cash machine as this will undoubtedly mean you will be charged a higher interest rate increasing your debt further. It is too easy to think that using your card in this way is likened to having money sitting in your bank account. The reality is that it is not and you are obtaining money that you don’t have. Never be tempted to use your credit card for impulse buys as you generally think about the implications after the purchase has been made.

What is Your Budget?

Have a budget and try only to spend what you can afford to pay back every month. Take responsibility for what you spend and you can have hassle free spending using your credit card without the unmanageable debt.

Joseph Kenny is the webmaster of the UK credit card comparison site www.creditcards121.com/, where you can find a selection of credit card advice that should help guide you through the credit card maze. For US visitors there is also the comparison site www.credit-cards-info.com/ for all US interest free offers.

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Based on a Richard Hooker novel of the same name, MASH was released in 1970 as a full-length feature film by 20th Century Fox before experiencing widespread success as a groundbreaking television sitcom in the Fall of 1972. The show’s brilliant integration of drama and comedy made it one of the most celebrated shows in TV history, culminating in an eleven year prime time series stint. The 1983 series finale of MASH made history as the program with the single largest audience in television history, beating out several SuperBowls and the fabled “Who Shot J.R.” episode of Dallas. With the proliferation of new television mediums, it’s a record likely to never be broken…

The sitcom is set in South Korea during American involvement in the Korea War (with M*A*S*H standing for “Mobile Army Surgical Hospital”). Buffered from the front lines by a mountain range and a minefield, the men and women of MASH were tasked with patching up wounded American soldiers. Unique to its genre, the cast of MASH was unusually large. Surgeons Dr. Benjamin Pierce (Alan Alda) and Dr. “Trapper” John McIntyre (Wayne Rogers) play the roles of excellent doctors who enjoy women and booze, while Dr. Frank Burns (Larry Linville) and Nurse Practitioner Margaret “Hot Lips” Houlihan (Loretta Swit) play foil to the two men’s shenanigans (due to a contract dispute, Rogers’ character was later replaced by Dr. B.J. Hunnicutt - played by Mike Farrell). The character of Frank Burns was also later replaced by Dr. Charles Emerson Winchester (David Ogden Stiers)…

Corporal Max Klinger (Jamie Farr) provides comic relief with his early attempts to procure a discharge by dressing in women’s clothing, and Father Francis Mulcahy (William Christopher) adds flavor to a diverse cast of characters. Also rounding out the cast are Lt. Col. Henry Blake (McLean Stevenson), Corporal Walter “Radar” O’Reilly (Gary Burghoff), and Col. Sherman Potter (Harry Morgan)…

The MASH (Season DVD features a number of hilarious episodes including the season premiere “Too Many Cooks” in which Private Paul Conway boosts the morale of the MASH unit by whipping up gourmet meals in the mess hall. Only Colonel Potter, beset by his own personal problems, fails to enjoy the new atmosphere… Other notable episodes from Season 8 include “Private Finance” in which a South Korean mother misinterprets Klinger’s true intentions toward her daughter when he offers her financial aid, and “Stars and Stripes” in which conflict comes between B.J. and Charles when they’re tasked with writing an article on patient they recently saved…

Below is a list of episodes included on the MASH (Season DVD:

Episode 170 (Too Many Cooks) Air Date: 09-17-1979
Episode 171 (Are You Now, Margaret?) Air Date: 09-24-1979
Episode 172 (Guerilla My Dreams) Air Date: 10-01-1979
Episode 173 (Good-Bye Radar: Part 1) Air Date: 10-08-1979
Episode 174 (Good-Bye Radar: Part 2) Air Date: 10-15-1979
Episode 175 (Period of Adjustment) Air Date: 10-22-1979
Episode 176 (Nurse Doctor) Air Date: 10-29-1979
Episode 177 (Private Finance) Air Date: 11-05-1979
Episode 178 (Mr. and Mrs. Who?) Air Date: 11-12-1979
Episode 179 (The Yalu Brick Road) Air Date: 11-19-1979
Episode 180 (Life Time) Air Date: 11-26-1979
Episode 181 (Dear Uncle Abdul) Air Date: 12-03-1979
Episode 182 (Captain’s Outrageous) Air Date: 12-10-1979
Episode 183 (Stars and Stripes) Air Date: 12-17-1979
Episode 184 (Yessir, That’s Our Baby) Air Date: 12-31-1979
Episode 185 (Bottle Fatigue) Air Date: 01-07-1980
Episode 186 (Heal Thyself) Air Date: 01-14-1980
Episode 187 (Old Soldiers) Air Date: 01-21-1980
Episode 188 (Morale Victory) Air Date: 01-28-1980
Episode 189 (Lend a Hand) Air Date: 02-04-1980
Episode 190 (Goodbye, Cruel World) Air Date: 02-11-1980
Episode 191 (Dreams) Air Date: 02-18-1980
Episode 192 (War Co-Respondent) Air Date: 03-03-1980
Episode 193 (Back Pay) Air Date: 03-10-1980
Episode 194 (April Fools) Air Date: 03-24-1980

About the Author

Britt Gillette is author of The DVD Report, a blog where you can find more reviews like this one of the MASH (Season DVD.

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There’s a lot to think about when you need to initiate a difficult interaction — the kind of discussion that is required when a colleague is taking credit for your ideas, is not delivering on their part or is just plain making you look bad.

Before proceeding you might want to check out my article on helping to “get your head in the right place,” which is a process to help you get to a place where you can compassionately express your concern and remain open to the other person’s side of it.

Once you’ve gotten yourself in the right frame of mind, it’s time to plan the actual discussion. For the purposes of this exercise, we’ll call the colleague that we’ll be interacting with, Jackie. Keep in mind that the goals for this process include: a) learning more about Jackie’s perspective (even if you don’t like it), b) approaching her in a way that is respectful of you both, and c) for the troubling behavior to stop.

1. Request time and attention.

Rather than just drop by and ask Jackie, “Can I talk to you?” it can help to first to ask her for 15-20 minutes of her time. This way she knows you want to have a substantive conversation and you know Jackie is willing to invest the time in this conversation. If she says yes, but seems rushed or preoccupied, ask if there is a better time, and nail down a time/day for an appointment. If Jackie says that this time is fine, you can reflect to her that she seems preoccupied, and that you’ll just make an appointment. You can make choices here. Even if she insists that you stay, you can defer the conversation at any time, if you are feeling you do not have her attention. You deserve it.

2. Come from curiosity and humility.

The interaction I just described in tip #1 can escalate quickly if you come across as demanding, accusatory, condescending or defensive. It is important to balance your right to express your concern, and respect that Jackie perhaps has a valid point of view too. If you want to increase the chances the relationship will be preserved, you will want to approach the reconciliation process in a way that does not create more tension.

3. Express your positive intention.

Tell Jackie why you are there, and give her a reason to want to be there too. For instance,

“Jackie, there something that has been happening between us that has been bothering me. I value working with you and want to continue to make that work. So, I didn’t want to draw any conclusions about what I’ve experienced, without talking to you.”

4. Describe the troubling behavior specifically.

“Jackie, I notice that after I agree to a particular task at a project meeting, you ask me the next day if I’ve gotten started on it.”

It’s important to use neutral, not loaded, language, so the interaction isn’t intensified unnecessarily. Describe facts, not opinions or interpretations at this point.

5. Check your assumption.

This is the time to offer your interpretation. At the same time you want to give Jackie room to offer an explanation and/or save face. This step might go like this.

“It’s happened more than once and I’m left feeling like I’ve done something that makes you think I can’t be counted on to follow-through. I don’t want to assume that though. I thought I should check it out with you. Can you tell me about this?”

6. Listen.

This is important… stop speaking for a few moments. Endure some awkward silence if you really want to hear an answer. You may hear just about anything, such as,

a. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

b. “I’m so sorry I’ve left you feeling that way. I guess I’m just feeling under the gun given this is a high-visibility project.”

c. “You’re right. I do feel like I have to keep after you to get things done.”

Here’s where tip #7 comes in handy.

7. Own what is yours, no more, no less.

Reminder - be curious and humble!!

(Below are potential responses to guide you, which correspond with Jackie’s responses above.)

a. “I’m glad that you consider me someone you can count on then. Is there some other reason you check with me regularly?”

b. “I appreciate you sharing that with me. What can I do to relieve some of your concern?”

c. “What is it that I do that makes you feel that way?”

More for item c. Listen. If necessary, follow with, “Is there a specific experience that brought you to that conclusion?” Listen more. Then if appropriate, “What can I do from now on to remedy that?”

You don’t have to get her to admit that she is micromanaging. Consider instead what you are learning from the exchange.

8. Use a backup plan if necessary.

If the discussion just continues down the path of Jackie’s responses 6a or 6c, without producing anything helpful, you can always wrap it up with something like this.

“Our relationship is important to me, and I needed you to know I was feeling this way. I would rather share this with you than keep it from you, to increase our chances of working together better. Thank you for your time.”

Though not completely satisfying, at least you more clearly know what you can expect from Jackie. And, don’t give up all hope. I have found that even when someone like Jackie will not acknowledge anything is amiss, that she will stop the behavior, particularly if I check in with her occasionally over time, regarding the same concern.

9. Make plans to move forward.

If it IS a fruitful interchange, suggest how you can go forward. Possibilities include:

Ask her what she would like you to do differently from now on.

Offer what you are willing to do.

Express what you would like her to do.

Only agree to what you really are willing to do.

Don’t be afraid to offer a counter-proposal.

Tell Jackie you need time to think about a particular request, if necessary.

Plan to regroup together at a later time.

10. Solidify agreement and offer thanks.

Be sure to summarize. This may include articulating:

Agreement on how to go forward, including what actions each of you will take as a result of this discussion.

Agreement to not let an issue exist between you for so long next time.

Your appreciation for the other person’s honesty, willingness to be open, and time.

If you feel Jackie is just “going along” with you to avoid what might be an uncomfortable exchange for her, and she does not follow through with her agreements, you can always follow up with tip #8 eventually.

Though these comments may feel awkward or sound silly at first, remember that it takes time to change your behavior. Practice your response - in front of a mirror, with a friend or even into a tape recorder - until the words, and the feelings behind them, seem natural to you. The point is to be able to approach the situation in a way that is mostly likely going to result in a mutually agreeable resolution, without allowing the other person’s potentially resistant responses to derail you. We can all use practice doing that!

Copyright 2002-2006, Mary C. Schaefer, all rights reserved.

Mary Schaefer is President and Lead Consultant for Artemis Path, LLC. She holds a Master’s in Human Resources Management and is certified as an HR Professional (PHR). Mary’s 20 years of experience in industry, most recently as an HR manager, allows her to effectively coach you as a supervisor, small business owner or employee, on how to get along better at work! You can find more information about how Mary can help you at http://www.artemispath.com

While you are there, check out how the expanded, 14-page eworkbook version of the Ten Ways to Survive Your Current Job can help you!!

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